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©2020 Arrivals Doula Services

  • Chelisa The Doula

What's the rush?

What’s the rush?


Do you feel a list of “must accomplish” things now that you’re home with your new baby?


Everyone wants a photo opp with baby, so you must accommodate that. Right?


You haven’t put the finishing touches on the nursery. That has to happen before the baby can sleep. Right?


You need to get back into your pre pregnancy jeans so you need to start exercising again. Right?


All of the magazines have recipes that are easy to make so you need to cook for your family. Right?


People will be stopping by so you need to make sure your house is Martha Stewart ready. Right?


What if I told you that really all you needed to focus on right now is that sweet new baby that is tucked gently in your arms? What if I encouraged you to just gaze at that sweet face and breathe in all of the goodness that comes from the tippy top of that little head.


That sounds pretty amazing. Right?


The reality is, that’s exactly what you SHOULD be doing. Getting to know your newest family member and learning the ins and outs of the parent/child dynamic. This helpless little creature is depending on you and you alone to meet their every need.


There really is no other syllabus for having a new baby. We hear this said so very often and yet I talk with new mothers all of the time who secretly feel torn between what their heart wants and what everyone else wants.


We’re kind of designed to just want to spend time bonding with our baby. That’s why labor and birth take such a physical toll on us. So we’ll slow down and just allow our relationship with our newborn to unfold. One of the greatest gifts our body gives to help us provide milk for our baby, is Oxytocin. Oxytocin is often referred to as the “cuddle hormone” because it’s released when we’re bonding. Providing an environment to do just that as well as allowing ample time for that to happen can set you up for a postpartum experience that benefits you and your baby. Lots of relaxation and lots of baby head sniffs are vital to all of the Oxytocin releases we need to provide nourishment to our babies.


So, who says you have to get right back into the swing of things?


Who says you need to allow literally everyone to come to your house so they can hold the baby and have photo proof to post on social media?


Allow yourself time. Don’t feel pressured to do anything but sit and hold your baby. It’s okay for others to care for you. You, as a new parent, were born as well. You have stepped into an entirely new world. There are others who can walk beside you and help ease that transition and more importantly, willing to be a help to you.


Create a space that feels comforting to you. Maybe it’s a tucked away corner with a comfy chair and a ton of pillows. You could have some comforting music playing and maybe a favorite plant or even some fresh cut flowers nearby. Is that space near a window that can allow in some much needed Vitamin D which is helpful to you and baby? A place where your other children or a pet can join you for even more comfort. Having a journal nearby to capture special moments or feelings is a great way to be able to focus on big emotions you might be having. Even utilizing your voice memo recorder on your phone is helpful.


Don’t rush.


Reintroduce yourself to the outside world slowly. This special time with your new baby is your birthright. Soak it in and grow in your new roles together.

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